大学受験、高校受験のウィングローブ英語塾。渋谷本部です。

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日本人のワークライフバランス、

生徒のみなさんが仕事に就くときにはよりよい状況になっていることでしょう。

そして女性管理職が増えることも期待ですね。

 

そういう内容に切り込んだ英作文です。

日本人の勤勉さに企業はつけこんでいる、、、といった指摘も。

なかなか難しい内容を英語にすることに挑戦していますね。

 

※赤字が文法的な訂正、緑字はよりよい表現という意味での添削です

 

武蔵小杉校 泉川紗衣さん (高3時)

 

In my opinion, companies need to improve the way they treat their workers. There are two problems which we need to solve.

 

Firstly, the Japanese work-life balance is terrible compared to other countries. Japanese people tend to spend more of their time working than they do relaxing at home or enjoying themselves elsewhere. I think it is because of the specific character of the Japanese. Most Japanese companies are dependent on their diligent character.

 

Secondly, there is a big difference between the way they treat men and women. Companies usually hire people who can work for a long time in the future. Men can keep working because most of them have the responsibility to provide for their families, while only women can bear babies, so they need to take time off to raise their children for a while. This is one of the reasons for the gap.

 

Therefore, companies should think again about how they treat their workers.

 

(提出英文)

In my opinion, companies need to improve the way they treat their workers. There are two problems which we need to solve.

Firstly, Japanese work-life balance is more terrible than that of another countries. Japanese people tend to spend their time on working more than do on being relaxed at home or on playing somewhere. I think it is because of Japanese specific character. Most Japanese companies are dependent on their diligent character.

Secondly, there is a big difference between male and female. Companies usually hire people who can work for a long time in the future. Male can keep working because most of them have responsibilities to provide for their family, while female only can have bear their babies, so they need to take a rest to raise their children for a while. It is one reason causes this gap.

Therefore, companies should think again about treatments of workers.

 

 

 

高2生ですが、

ちゃんとした構文を使い、修飾関係も複雑な英文が書けていますね。

受動態もうまく使えていると思います。

 

(※赤字が文法的な訂正、緑字がよりよい表現という意味での添削です)

 

 

南加瀬校  高橋 理沙さん (高2時)

 

I think that people should stop using goods that are made from animals. There are two reasons for this.

 

First, the trafficking of animal materials is a big problem and it could cause endangered species to die out. Today, materials from endangered animals or goods made from them are bought as expensive products and crimes involving the illegal trading of them are carried out all over the world. If people stopped buying animal materials and products, such trades would decrease and we could protect endangered species.

 

Second, animals have the right to live and die in nature. They should live in a natural ecosystem, so people should not use them just out of selfishness and disregard animals’ rights.

 

For these reasons, it is clear that people should stop using goods that are made from animals.

 

Wincomという、ネイティブのロジャー先生が添削してくれる

ウィングローブの添削サービス ’Wincom’。

 

国立大学の受験前には、受験生たちがかなり利用しています。

 

尾木さんもその一人でした。

今年の春、見事、国立大学に合格しています。

さすがに文法的ミスは少ないです。

(※以下、赤字は文法的に直すべき箇所、緑字はよりよい表現としての添削です)

 

 

勝どき校  尾木 芯輔さん (高3時)

 

I think that old people should live with their families. Such a lifestyle has many benefits. I will explain the two main reasons for this.

 

First, it is hard for old people to live by themselves. Generally speaking, the older we get, the weaker our fundamental living capacity becomes. Given this fact, life becomes too dangerous for old people who don’t live with their families.

 

Second, it is good not only for old people but also for children. If there are a grandfather and a grandmother in the family, they can play with their grandchildren. Children will feel that it is fun and it will be good exercise for them.

 

For these reasons, I think that old people should live with their families.

 

 

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